Lost It. . .

Today was my follow up appointment after my surgery for an ectopic pregnancy. I got the questions I needed answered but still not the result I yearn for. I really tried to keep it together thankfully Jeremy and Emma weren't there because I ended up tearing up in Dr. A's office after asking all the questions I had. Dr. A knows this is hard for me and sympathizes with what's happened and I have a feeling that he knows I am a sensitive person even if I put on a strong and put together face. Since the delivery of Emma our visits always end with an "until next time" and a hug. He really is a great Dr. and I couldn't have asked to have been put in his and Dr. M's hands for this.  After leaving I just had a moment and broke down at the front desk, I haven't wept like this since my Grandmother died. Thankfully Kinzie was there at the desk as I lost it and walked me over to the side and talked with me. She has really had divine timing in our time of knowing each other. I think the impact of this did really happen hit me and wow really hit me as I was sitting there in Dr. A's office. The vibe was so different than last time when I had my post pregnancy appointment with him. We sat and looked at the results of my tests and of the babies test and then and there was it for me.

I can't write what I am feeling nor can I talk about it at this time but I truly feel the emotions of this today. Apparently even the strongest and most put together woman have moments like these.

Baby Max your Mommy miss's you!

Jusika Martinez

Tucson, Arizona, USA