Lost It. . .

Today was my follow up appointment after my surgery for an ectopic pregnancy. I got the questions I needed answered but still not the result I yearn for. I really tried to keep it together thankfully Jeremy and Emma weren't there because I ended up tearing up in Dr. A's office after asking all the questions I had. Dr. A knows this is hard for me and sympathizes with what's happened and I have a feeling that he knows I am a sensitive person even if I put on a strong and put together face. Since the delivery of Emma our visits always end with an "until next time" and a hug. He really is a great Dr. and I couldn't have asked to have been put in his and Dr. M's hands for this.  After leaving I just had a moment and broke down at the front desk, I haven't wept like this since my Grandmother died. Thankfully Kinzie was there at the desk as I lost it and walked me over to the side and talked with me. She has really had divine timing in our time of knowing each other. I think the impact of this did really happen hit me and wow really hit me as I was sitting there in Dr. A's office. The vibe was so different than last time when I had my post pregnancy appointment with him. We sat and looked at the results of my tests and of the babies test and then and there was it for me.

I can't write what I am feeling nor can I talk about it at this time but I truly feel the emotions of this today. Apparently even the strongest and most put together woman have moments like these.

Baby Max your Mommy miss's you!