Yeah We lost..I mean I lost it.

Okay, remember the girl I talked that is 22-23 with baby #2 on the way. Well we used to be decent friends until rumors were started about me from whatever she was saying and I called her out on it and yeah we aren't "friends" anymore. So today we I ran in to her going in to grab lunch it was pretty obvious we eventually made eye contact. We haven't spoken since rumorville so that left a little catching up to do. Well obviously her little one has grown so much since I last saw him back in early October when we knew we were expecting. He's a month younger than Emma so it was quite interesting to see what a big boy he's grown to. We exchanged little tidbits mainly about her baby and while exchanging those tidbits she says "so I am expecting number 2" obviously... I can see her large baby bump plus I had known thanks to a guy in my husband's squadron. (He thought since they were having number 2 that we should "jump on that train" obviously he did not know we had just lost a baby), plus I have seen her around, baby bumps are pretty obvious. I swiftly said (since I am standing there not baring any type of baby bump at all just a few extra pounds) "yeah we lost ours" and she said "yes I heard." (Rumorville must have had nothing to talk about for a while if they were talking about some woman on base losing her child and fallopian tube.) We quickly moved on to another topic mainly about the size of the baby bump and how high she is carrying him (or so I thought). After a while I said I had to go because I was on lunch and we parted ways. Over all not too bad for someone starting stirring up shit in my life at the worst time in my life, it's not like I kicked, slapped or rolled my eyes at her like I possibly would have if I weren't so busy. ;)

Anyway, I won't say I have been frustrated but more of in a pitiful mood since speaking to her. I wonder if there will ever be a time when I can do things like move the bassinet out of Emma's room or stop thinking this is a nightmare in which I am living. The estimated due date of June 4th (exactly 1 month prior to Emma's birthday) is fast approaching and man even thinking about brings me to tears, I thought I would be throwing a dinner party now I am not even sure I want to get out of bed that day. As the day approaches all I know is I will be there living it moment by moment.

Today, I would have been 36 weeks and 6 days today. How quickly life can change in just a few short moments. Here's to Max our 2nd, whom was lost due to an ectopic pregnancy on October 13, 2009.