Dreams & Crazy Business
One of my "Facebook Friends" who is actually one of my old high school friends FB'd about how he had just experienced an extremely weird, very real-feeling dream. I chimed in and let him know that I absolutely hate those sometimes our dreams are our worst fears or our body and mind trying to tell us something. I proceeded to tell him that I wouldn't have thought that if I hadn't had a real life experience my self. To be honest if someone had said something like what I said a year or even two years I would have shrugged it off and not thought another thing about it. But as my life has evolved in experiences I can say that I whole heartedly believe that it's our body and mind telling us something, even if we don't take heed. When I was carrying Ethan I used to wake up in the middle of the night in these sweats and very upset because of the dream I had. It was the same dream over and over like it never quit playing almost every night the week before losing him. The dream was me waking up in a pool (I mean literally a pool) of blood from bleeding down there. As a mother I was "damned" on letting that happen as if I could stop it. If it's one thing I have learned from my multiple losses it's that you have no control. For me being a prideful person that feels she's a micro version of Wonder Woman that is a very and I mean very hard pill to swallow. I mean come on I was raised in a hispanic family where women are meant to be strong plus I was highly influenced by my primary caretaker who was born in 1914 and left home at the age of 8, she actually made it to 48 out of 50 states within her life time. Emotionally & physically strong, independent, stubborn, and self-reliant were the main things that were grilled in to me my whole life and there I was humbled & heartbroken with every emotion that God could throw at me.
During that week I was having these dreams I was trying my best not letting them get to me. I proceeded to tell my friend that all we can do with these dreams are to take note and handle it calmly because really we only have one of two choices and that is to go Brittany Spears crazy or you can keep calm and carry on. I have to tell you that Brittany Spears crazy looked very appealing the second time around but I have kept calmer and relied on the faith and the fact that I could easily throw my hands up and say "I don't know why this is happening, but it is." These experiences of loss have truly made me a stronger person that has been changed from the inside. Just as the birth of Emma it changes your life completely.
Have any of you had these types of dreams? If so, what have you done? Has it been something that has altered your life for the best or worst?