If it is one thing I have met since losing two children it is stupid. Stupid meaning people who are ignorant to what it is truly like to lose a child and some who frankly talk out of their ass when offering unwanted advise. I can not tell you the amount of conversations (okay, well I can and it's about 5) that my husband and I have had about what's been said to me after losing each of our children.
But today is a new day and I am letting all of those people & their words, their blog posts and their hate mail go. For a good while I thought that maybe just maybe it was because they were military wives. As most know I don't think highly of my kind as I have found most (not to be confused with all) to be over dramatic and pushy with their way of life but then I realized after the fact that in life there are just those people; it's not only specific to military wives and it's not just because they are military wives.
To those who have:
- Said it's because of the Bible I read isn't the King James Version.
- Blogged about me in negative light in the days and months of my aftermath.
- Tried to write me up because of who was told about my loss.
- Spoken about me and the loss of my children in vain.
- Spread untrue rumors.
- Outed me in a public setting about my multiple losses.
- Gotten face to face with me while drunk asking me if I was "okay" after multiple losses.
- Written my losses off as just spontaneous abortions and moved on to the next client.
- Lied about your actions upon me to stay in the in crowd.
- Said they have known people who have gone back to work the same day of surgery, as if it's almost expected for me to do so.
- Said it's just because I am sensitive just two weeks after losing a child.
- Said it's just something you suck up and get over.
- Thought it's right to make your airman's or your employee's multiple loss common knowledge in the office or to other supervisors.
- Said it's because of my weight or because something is wrong with me.
- Act as if abortion and a ectopic pregnancy & miscarriage loss are similar along with the grief process.
- Tried to guilt me in to coming to work the day after a D&C because a radio show wouldn't be done.
- Judged me because of the losses.
- Stalked my blog for some sort of news to talk about among friends as if it was a gossip column.
- Reported me for speaking about the turmoil I faced in the work place in days and weeks after my loss.
I offer all of you peace.
I am done with your words, negative comments and actions. When you walk in the shoes of a mother who has lost two children after birthing a completely healthy child then say something...as I am sure it will not be any of the above. I have no control of what you choose to write, say, blog about, or even act upon but I have the choice to listen, see and respond and I have chosen to do nothing except internalize and vent blog ever so often but the days of letting these things actually hurt me is over because I only offer you peace.
If there is something your letting go of today, stop by SITSgirls and link up your post about letting go.