If it's one thing I have done since moving here and that is too look forward, not back. Well, today my past met my present as I sat in a civilian Dr.'s office reviewing my medical obstetrics background. Thankfully no tears where shed the only thing really exchanged were serious looks about my future and my future birthing abilities. We discussed Endometriosis causing some issues, we discussed possible surgical dates and my birthing feature. This Dr. also pointed out the blessing we have which is my right tube has been able to give me two in utero pregnancies even though one failed. The biggest obstacle for someone like me with only one tube is that when ever we try to conceive for me to actually conceiving in utero. It would normally take a normal woman about 2-3 months at max to get pregnant for me it can take anywhere from six months to a year if not longer without any additional medications for fertility (it took about six months to get a viable pregnancy). So where does that leave me...well with a handful of decisions I need to make...especially if I move forward with the surgery as the surgery could leave me without a uterus...granted that's not his goal but it's never guaranteed especially when it comes to something like this where he would be going in and trying to remove extra tissue and separate my ovary and uterus. Am I ready to give up what tools I have right now to make a child? Well I am unsure...I like having options and not having anymore kids at the ripe age of 27 is quite a big decision to make that I am not quite sure I am ready for. Who knows I have 4 weeks to figure it out and toss around ideas, shed tears or scream if I want. I know I walked in to the right dr. when he said "plan for the worst and hope for a miracle because making those sort of decisions at young age can can be a hard and emotional thing to do."