Yesterday for me emotionally was not a good day for me...I was emotionally exhausted and angry. I've found on the days since the loss when I am not getting enough sleep I get angry...grumpy and possibly could be the old mean lady we all knew growing up but I'm only 29. Grieving is a cycle and sometimes a hopscotch and right now I'm all over the place, there are moments where I am angry, other times I try to bargain or look for different answers or there are moments that I simply just ask why and there are moments where I want to eat the whole box of oreo's. I thought that with relying on God that he would give me some sort of express pass through this grief cycle but to date I haven't gotten one but I find myself talking and praying to him more and more but this is a process that's "normal" is something that we all have to go through and work through.
I've complied a few verses that I like that has helped me through this time maybe next time I will share them, do you have a favorite poem or verse that you've used during the grieving of your loss? The first loss my Mom wrote me these beautiful poems that to this day make my eyes swell, here is one:
From Me To You Mommie By Mary Martinez
From A Single Moment Shared By Two
We Started A Journey, Me & You.
My Destiny Was Determined Before I Came
I Touched Your Heart, It Will Never be the Same.
It Was Never About Me Being Born or You Watching Me Grow…
I Served My Purpose, That is Something You Will Someday Know.
I Know Your Voice, It is Distinct From Any Other,
Little “M” Now Has A Brother.
Do Not Feel Sad or That I Was Cheated Out Of Life….
It Was Never Meant For Me To Be A Child, or a Husband.
God Has His Reasons, Though You May Not Understand….
He is A loving God, Reach Out, Give Him Your Hand.
It Is Hard To Trust When Things Don’t Go Our Way,
It Is Hard To Believe That Someone Else Could Have The Final Say.
Trust Is Believing In What You Can Not Touch Or See,
Look At The Miracle Of Life & Remember Me.
I Lived My Life To It’s Fullest Extent
Everything Went Just As It Was Meant.
I Returned From Where I Came
But You Have Changed, You are Not the Same.
Take The Lesson That I Have Brought
Let Me Be The Teacher & You Learn the Lesson To Be Taught.
Open Your Heart & Let The Pain Go
“ I Love You Mom” That is What You Need To Know.
If you are just joining me on my #31Day’s blog journey on Walking the Path of Healing after Multiple Pregnancy Loss – Faith, Frustrations and Everything In-between see all of my blog posts here.