Day 19: The Working Mom Who Looses a Pregnancy.
The first time I lost a pregnancy through an Ectopic Pregnancy I wasn't working full-time due to just having Emma. The second pregnancy that ended up being a miscarriage I was in full swing at work, full swing meaning radio shows, events, magazine layouts, freelance work...I had a TON going on. But when it happened...life stopped, again. I could not understand how I could lose again, it was just a fluke the first time. I mean who really looses the same day as the last time they lost? I mean WHO...does that? Hi (big fancy wave).So to say I was emotionally devastated would be an understatement, would you have known or would you have guessed...no. So on my second pregnancy loss I had a D&C less than 24 hours after finding out that I was loosing and I was back at work on a Friday, thankfully for only a few hours. To say my boss truly understood what I was going through would be an understatement. This time I was also working and it was definitely one of those busy seasons of work and thankfully this time I have an open relation with my bosses well enough that one email of "I'm not going to be in today" they 99% of the time understand why or trust me on why and mainly because there isn't a day that goes by that I am not consumed with work in my off time, just happens to be the luck of the draw right now in my life. So, this time I sent a simple email saying "I wont be in today, I will be going into surgery for an ectopic pregnancy." I did not want them to be blindsided as to why I was out when my partner called. This time one of my bosses didn't pretend to even know what it was she simply said "I had to google it" ha, thank you google! The other boss also didn't pretend to understand but instead walked in on my first day back and said "You good?" of course my reply was "yep" They also covered me enough that other 96% of my co-workers didn't find out. Of course there are those water cooler rumors but honestly I don't pay them any attention.
The vast difference this time was how it was handled, instead of my bosses offering unwanted advice on how to move on or acting as if they knew how I felt they gave me the space I need and needed to heal, especially those first few days...the sight of seeing a baby or small newborn clothes made my eyes swell up with tears. This time they were also were more workable with me leaving for appointments. With my first boss she could not get over having to pick up the "slack" from me being gone that could not resist saying something about it. I hate to say that how your work responds could totally be the luck of the draw but it truly is although it should not be but it all depends on what emotions it brings up or doesn't bring up for your boss.
What I pray for those who walk this path is that they are given the right words to express what they are feeling or not say during those times.
If you are just joining me on my #31Day’s blog journey on Walking the Path of Healing after Multiple Pregnancy Loss – Faith, Frustrations and Everything In-between see all of my blog posts here.