Yesterday I captured 20 Things Not To Say To Someone Who's Lost a Pregnancy today I want to capture things you can say or do for a woman or family who have lost.
What to do:
- Listen: she may tell you the same story 100 times, just listen.
- Do: meet the families practical needs (help with food, cleaning, etc.)
- Give: Flowers
- Give: Books About Miscarriage or Pregnancy Loss Coping
- Give: Send a Card
- Do: Text Her Often, Even If She Doesn’t Reply
- Do: Reassure Her It’s Okay to Feel All Sorts of Emotions
- Offer: Offer to make personal keepsakes such as sewing clothing into a blanket or make a scrapbook BUT do not do anything physical without asking her first. Some find certain items too painful to touch or allow others to touch.
- Share: A mother who has lost a child wants to know that their baby will not be forgotten. Share your favorite memories with her, send her cards on birthdays and holidays and let her know you are remembering her child with her.
- Wait: Grief is unpredictable and has no timetable, be patient with her and never ever tell her to “move on.” Just do your best to walk with her in the valley.
- Know when to be silent… sometimes it is best to say nothing at all. A grieving person may just want someone to listen.
- Be aware that grief has physical reactions as well as emotional reactions and some days are just harder than others, we will be okay we just need a moment.
- Remember that specific dates or events such as the anniversary of the loss or the expected due date, may trigger an emotional response. Encourage communication during this time. Perhaps a card or small remembrance.
- Talk about the baby by his or her name, our babies aren't an "IT"
- Talk about the hopes and dreams you had for the family and the baby. The parents want to know others share in their hopes and dreams, too.
If you are just joining me on my #31Day’s blog journey on Walking the Path of Healing after Multiple Pregnancy Loss – Faith, Frustrations and Everything In-between see all of my blog posts here.