Celebrating 10 years of Marriage

This Wednesday Goose and I celebrated 10 years of marriage. We've had our ups and downs and there have been points during those down moments that we weren't 100% sure we were going to make it one more year - marriage is work, we've learned that and remind ourselves daily. Our anniversary started out at a very indepth appointment about my current pregnancy, it was interesting that on the mark of 10 years of marriage, we sat there staring at what has ultimately changed both of us the last 5 years, life and loss. That appointment really got both of us thinking about the story of us. 10 years ago - we were 22 and 21 and had only dated 6 months. What we were thinking the Wednesday before we have no idea, but we decided that on Friday, July 22nd that we were going to get married... and we did, we went and eloped... so there started the story of us. It wasn't easy in fact, even with the help of others, we still made a lot of mistakes over the years that thankfully we've learned from. In honor of the 10 years of marriage and many, many mistakes both of us made a list of what we've learned, we hope you enjoy and find some humor in each of them. 

Goose's List

  1. Be patient, there will be moments where you have to listen to 8 hours of Adel or country music with her. 
     
  2. Help each other out as much as possible, even when you just got home from a 12 hour shift. 
     
  3. Always be available to have a serious conversation.
     
  4. Make finances a team effort. 
     
  5. Do the things you enjoy together, this includes praying together. 
     
  6. Sometimes you have to support one another so they can peruse their dream at times it might be you and at times it might be her. 
     
  7. Back each other up, even if they're wrong. 
     
  8. You can never say I love you, or express your appreciation too much.
     
  9. Always pursue each other and date each other.
     
  10. Hold on to the things that made you fall in love with your spouse as you journey through the seasons of life.  

My List

  1. Clearly one of you will be a better driver, show grace when it feels like they're trying to kill you. 

  2. Be real with each other, even if it's ugly let him in.

  3. That dark cloud that doesn't seem to be moving will go away, cling to each other during that time.  

  4. Learn how to protect each other when outsiders seem to be on the attack. It took us years to learn this, but it was one of the most valuable things for us to learn. 

  5. He will always snore - learn to get to sleep before him, or you will never sleep. 

  6. Him leaving on tours will change your dynamic - go with the flow. 

  7. Service before self - sounds crazy, but for us he has no control when the Air Force says go. His leaving doesn't mean his love or support of you will change. 

  8. Always make him laugh & fear you just a little bit. Goose calls this leaving a little crazy at the table. Our crazy is typically immediately laughable, but it drives home the point to each other. (Shnaynay, Martin and Gina reenactments anyone?) 

  9. Go with him when he wants to do something. 

  10. His silence doesn't mean there's nothing going on - typically when we've dealt with tragic situations it's been some sort of loss and he's remained quiet - it didn't mean he wasn't dealing with anything it's just that he might be taking the role of supporter for that moment. His time will come, be there for him just as he was for you.  

When we got married, we were young and no clue what was set before us, but there was a time that we learned what battles to take on and what battles that are not worth it. If you're struggling in your marriage or you're in a desert phase - girl I feel ya, we've been there. Make a choice to stick it out and work hard for what you want, a fruitful marriage. 

Jusika Martinez

Tucson, Arizona, USA