Life Lessons From My Time At Edwards - Chapter 2

 
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A little after our one anniversary at Edwards Air Force Base we took a gamble and put on Goose's “dream sheet” (this is a sheet in the Air Force that you update with where you want to go) with a specific overseas assignment that we knew would quickly get us out of being stationed at Edwards Air Force Base - mainly because we had just become that unhappy with this new place and this is the only way we could see out of it. All I could see was that he was the reason I was there in what I considered at that time to be a crap hole - and I wanted out of it, quickly. During that time I also starting looking for jobs in Palmdale and some even back home. We came to a point where we could only see separation as the answer to our problems, especially with him on the night shift.

Not long after my job hunt I found a job at the Exchange and when I took it, I thought it was only temporary until I could find a job back home, but God had a whole different plan. When I first applied for the job it was only doing a little graphic work with a majority of the job being display set up until they found out my background. Then a main sector of my job was creating marketing material and hosting community events for the same community that had just shunned me away, it was HARD to do and in fact I refused at first. Then one day as I sat at home I sat going through one of my journals and I saw this prayer that I had when I first got to California. There it read:

It was a rude awakening to where I was in this stance of refusal and not wanting to abide. A few months into my job and a few months after Goose changed his dream sheet he had orders in hand to this new place - a place where we couldn’t go, but we knew that it was also the ticket was out. As we continued to live separate lives with me on day shift and him on night shift we prepared for a year apart and possibly a permanent separation. Then about 5 months before Goose was leaving I got really sick - I didn’t want to tell him, but he noticed since we were still living in the same home. Without a hesitation he stepped up and helped and even got time off of work to help me while I was sick. I wasn’t able to go to work , church or even really get around so we sat together watching Downton Abby and without strangling each other we rebuilt a friendship that had been missing those last 8 months. Once I got better he started going to church with me and we started to rebuild our family with the help of few couples from my church community group.

Then in the midst of rebuilding I ended up pregnant - the one thing neither one of us expected. Then God quickly turned each of our lives upside down as just a few weeks later Goose and I stood in the Emergency room hallway hearing that we were loosing again through an ectopic pregnancy. Having another ectopic took us right back to where our marriage became weak. As I stood there and I knew in the pit of my stomach that there was a reason for this experience. As I laid there we prayed, we held hands and we talked about it, something we didn’t do during our first loss. In the weeks and days following we clung to each other and to God in a whole new way.

During my follow up appointments we sat together hand in hand, listening to how close this corneal ectopic that ruptured during surgery brought me to death. We listened about how long we had to wait to try to conceive again and we listened to our future needs. He could tell I was devastated in a whole new away and he allowed me to grieve without hindering or saying to just get over it. He sat with me in the thick of it and watched me push through some of the most hurtful words, but six weeks after our loss Goose boarded a plane for a 12 month tour. I was worried about how God would heal us and about how God would use this time apart. God heals the broken hearted - that is a promise in which we all know, but there was a part of me that wasn’t sure if he would bring healing to me or continue to heal our marriage and then I started to walk this 12 month tour with Goose. Instead of what we did the first loss which was ignore the white elephant in the room we talked about it - when he saw I was overwhelmed with emotions he talked me through it, he listened and advised when he felt it was needed. As I walked the path of physically healing he sat and listened to me when I got the news that was unexpected and was with me through it and thanks to God & FaceTime we were able to heal from the loss together and build a stronger marriage during that time and this is where each of our lives started to change and where we will forever be bonded.

As we all know there is joy in the morning and in my last and final chapter of California will air on Friday, March 20, 2015 - join me as I talk about my season of joy.