Hi there! It’s such an honor to share my heart with you today.
Here’s a glimpse into my life… I currently live in Delaware with my sweet husband, Joel, and my 110
When Jusika posted her desire for guest bloggers to share how God had shaped us through trials, I immediately jumped to email her. Why? Because I ascribe most of my spiritual growth to
Today the answer became clear.
It’s much easier to look back on heartbreak and chaos and see the beauty. It’s much easier to feel the joy and the hope once the sharp pain has dulled. But I wonder if many of you reading are in the midst of your struggle right now. I wonder if some of you are wrestling with God over something even as you read this.
If you are… this post is for you.
God can redeem your trial even before it ends.
Fifteen months ago, my husband and I said “I do.” We both ADORE children, want a large family, and were ready to get started right away. We were open about it with family and friends. We never thought conceiving would be an issue. But here we sit 15 months later with no baby in our arms or in my womb. Even as I write this I’m swallowing the fact that this, once again, we’re not pregnant.
Each month that passed brought new tears, new questions, and new heartbreak. The constant “when are you all going to have a baby?” got old really quickly. Though I’d kind of hinted at our desire in my blog along the way, we were at about the 10 month mark of trying when God put on my heart to share what we were going through.
I was skeptical… I’d much rather have waited until we were pregnant so I could look back and share the whole story. I’d much rather have waited until it had been longer so that others didn’t find our trial silly.
But God brought me to a point that I felt I couldn’t write anything until I finished that post. So I shared my heart with what seemed like the world.
That’s when God started redeeming our infertility.
Message after message. Email after email. Comment after comment.
There were SEVERAL women in my sphere of life who were struggling to conceive. I didn’t know about any of them until I shared that post.
The messages also came in from a woman after woman who’d sat where I’d been and now could look back and pour into me.
This community of wounded womb women has so redeemed my situation. For the first time in any trial, I can see His glory before the dawn. I can see His purpose before the happily ever after.
There’s a beautiful group of women pouring into my heart during this season. What’s amazing though is that God is using our story to help others heal, cope, pray, and cry. He’s using it to teach others who’ve never been through this how to comfort those in the middle of it. It’s a divine work He does.
Not only that, but He’s speaking truth into my life more than ever before. I have a new intimacy with Jesus that I didn’t have before infertility and one that I wouldn’t trade to be holding a baby right now.
That’s not to say, this season is full of rainbows and butterflies. There are days I write about hope that floods me and days I type words of desperation. Letting God use my story, hasn’t involved me always (or ever, really) having it together. It involves me being transparent and vulnerable and teachable. But… it gets me through the day knowing that He’s using even my worse days for His glory.
In some seasons, God’s calling and purpose for us involves suffering. It involves trial.
Don’t put off sharing while waiting for the trial to cease.
Don’t put off sharing because your trial is not as bad as someone else’s.
There is beauty in the valley.
There is testimony in the in-between.
There is strength in your weakness.
There is redemption before the dawn.