What If...

 

What if... the thing that God was calling you to do was to let it all go? 

Since January my life has come to a screeching halt. 

I left my position as a Creative Director at a local church in October. 

I closed my design shop. 

I have walked away from EVERYTHING that I found false value in. 

What if God was calling you to that? Since January I’ve heard so many people say “we’re just busy”. Busy isn’t always good. Busy can allow us to gain false idols. Busy can take away from our time with the Lord. 

I often joke that our season is the “slow lane season”, but it’s true and even as I heal I guard my schedule like it’s a pot of gold. For me this is new, but one thing I've realized in this journey after nearly dying is that I’ve always found myself going against the grain, completely different direction than the norm.

When others want to be “internet famous” or build a personal brand I am over here trying to stay small. Trying to make valuable relationships. 

I know that God uniquely creates each one of us for different purposes, but this season this going against the grain has become a rumbling in my belly. A rumbling that says, drop it all. Drop all your busy, drop all the staged perfect photos, drop the act that says “I got it together” or the act of “I know I don’t have it all together, but all I really have is a first world problem”. 

I think the issue come from me being raised in a different environment than most. I was raised to be tough and I am learning how to allow myself to be weak, but still feel secure in myself. I learning that the vulnerable is where your meat and potatoes of life are at. It’s admitting to someone I am a mess, I can’t fix it and that’s okay because I am in this place because God called me here. 

My what if's got more real since almost dying.

My what if’s are what I want you to know about.

Because what if my place of what if vulnerability helped you look at your view of life and let you know you’re not alone and that it's okay to go against the grain. 

What if that tiny voice inside you knows, you need to slow down too before you wreck yourself…but you’re afraid. Afraid of what people will say, what people will think or maybe you're afraid of what you'll find in your marriage or within your heart if you slow down. 

I am here to tell you, it’s okay. Slow down, be alone, find yourself, rebuild yourself, learn to know that God didn’t create you for busy…He created you to proclaim His good works and His word, not your busy schedule. Ask yourself, can you do that if you’re constantly busy…proclaiming a false truth about life? What if you looked at this fall season and said: "I am slowing down". What would that look like? What would it look like for you to go against the grain?